New Car Drama

I left a very abusive relationship 8 years ago. Since then I have relocated out of state twice, gotten married to someone new, had a baby, went back to school, got divorced, and by all accounts had mostly moved on. My ex found me through face book. I didn't accept his friend request by foolishly gave him my email address to contact me. At the time I did it because it had already been several years and we never had the opportunity to say goodbye. During a jail trip for him I loaded my home moved out of state and changed my number. (Though he did find me there too through the mail he never came in town that I am aware of). So far he hasn't abused my email only sending a few short messages to say hello over the past couple of years. I've responded to some and others I have not.

So I have had my car almost 10 years and its time for another. I go to pick up my new car today and have been crying since I signed the paperwork to get it yesterday. I've been in high speed chases with my ex in that car, moved out twice when we were together. Took solace there when I had to call the police on my husband years later. Etc. I didn't know I was so attached, or that it would be so incredibly emotional to get rid of it. All of these scenes of me running keep playing over and over again in my head. Last night my dreams were filled with everyday situations and him hiding waiting for me everywhere. I do kind of worry that one day he will just show up again and is just waiting for the right opportunity. He's been tracking me online for years.

I'm just hoping that writing this out now I can prevent a melt down at the dealership in 30 min.